Contribution List: Creating an Opportunity for the Child from a Task Plan

Taking Responsibility Together

This year, six of our children lived with us during quarantine, aged 17 to 22, and the contribution list was the key to our harmonious coexistence. My husband and I seized every opportunity to remind them that the house belongs to all of us and that we must take care of it together. They are not working for us when asked to clean a bathroom, fill up the car, or prepare a meal. They are helping the whole family, and we are all responsible for and grateful to each other. This is a significant difference from the feeling of fulfilling a bothersome duty or being annoyed with the person who made the request. When someone does something extra, it is to their credit, and we are all thankful. It has helped reduce resentment and foster maturity.

A Balancing Act in Parenting

It took some conversations in our marriage to get here. I grew up in a household where my mother did most of the work, and I now realize that what I did was more about keeping myself busy than truly helping. My husband grew up in a household where the children worked hard for their parents and often had more responsibility than was age-appropriate. Finding the middle ground where our children feel responsibility and contribution was hard-earned but worth the effort.

Spiritual Maturity and Responsibility

Seeing how it works in my home and with my children made me reflect on my own spiritual maturity and the connection between duty and responsibility. There are 'duties' that come with a life in Christ. As much as I want to live in the land of grace and rainbows, there is a reality filled with discipline, generosity, self-control, and taming the tongue. These can feel like work, even though I know they should come from an abundance of the Holy Spirit in my life. If we don't do them, nothing works.

When I do what is biblically required of me, I contribute to the Kingdom of God instead of just checking off a list of rules. God sees the value in my participation and wants to work with me in His Kingdom. This makes me feel valuable and motivates me to seek more opportunities to contribute rather than just going through a checklist and rushing to finish.

"Whatever you do, work at it with all your heart, as working for the Lord, not for human masters, since you know that you will receive an inheritance from the Lord as a reward. It is the Lord Christ you are serving." (Colossians 3:23-24)