Boundaries Guide
Sacred Ground
Do you know the feeling when others keep crossing the line, even after you've clearly said stop? This text encourages you to protect your inner sacred ground: with clear boundaries, without guilt, without losing yourself – and without completely ignoring the needs of others.
Or perhaps you are someone who lives by the motto: "If you don’t respect my boundaries, I won’t respect yours either." Since this topic often goes unaddressed, I want to continue the conversation started by one of my favorite authors.
The Importance of Boundaries in Relationships
Recently, I’ve talked with some family members and friends about the significance of this valuable truth: When you love someone, you also love their boundaries. This truth is often difficult for us because we are used to dealing with people who have consciously chosen not to respect the clear lines we’ve drawn for ourselves.
The societal norms we live in make us believe that everyone reacts this way and that we are all doomed. But I can say from experience that the opposite is true. If it’s true for me – a former perfectionist and people-pleaser with a history of emotional abuse – then it’s true for everyone.
Love That Goes Beyond Boundaries
There is more to this truth than just love and care for a person's boundaries, such as love for their values, their truths, their talents, and their dreams. This year, I’ve made it my mission to define “perfect love.” If you’ve been following my blog or my posts for a while, it’s no surprise to you that my faith is not just my foundation – it is my life. On January 1st of this year, the Lord captured my attention in a profound way and shook my reality to its core. Since then, I am not the same.
He has led me on a journey of refinement, but also of redefining truths that society has tried to change in my heart. Truths about friendship and community. Truths about my commitment to the church, based on my intention versus my calling. Truths about Him and who I am in Him – no longer a sinner saved by grace, but a holy, royal priesthood and a chosen heir of heaven.
The Power of Perfect Love
When He defines "perfect love," I want to know what that means. Getting to know Jesus' heart has shown me how much He loves my values, truths, talents, and dreams. He loves my values with a heart that is so true to me that it compels me to use my talents to honor His dreams for me and His kingdom. And when mine don’t align with His, He loves me until they do, and then He continues to love me. He is incomparable.
At Passion City Church, Pastor Louie is leading us through an incredible series titled "Label Maker," which has changed the reality for our house and for people around the world who listen to the podcasts recorded in our gatherings. Chosen. Heirs. Holy. Alive. These are the labels God gives to those who are alive in Christ.
Read also
4 Honest Challenges in Walking with Jesus
How to Keep Your Faith Alive After Sunday
The Freedom from Guilt and Shame
What a beautiful truth it is to realize that we are not burdened by the guilt and shame of our past because someone came and carried those realities for us and destroyed them at the cross of Golgotha! That is a truth my heart wants to shout from the rooftops – that when you say yes to Jesus, it means God no longer sees your past... He sees you as new, and He is the one who counts, not the world. I want the world to hear that shame and guilt found their death at the foot of a hill 2000 years ago, and that newness burst forth from a sealed and guarded tomb three days later, so that everyone who hears and believes can know that their worth is preserved and protected by the one who created them.
Stand on Your Sacred Ground
"DON'T SHRINK. DON'T PUFF UP. JUST STAND ON YOUR SACRED GROUND." – BRENÉ BROWN –
Having grown up in the Bible Belt, it’s clear to me why this concept has been difficult for me and others: Some of the people placed in our lives who have not respected the boundaries drawn by our Creator are the same people entrusted with bringing us to church. Or at least they are the same people authorized to speak into our lives. This is a concept we all need to recognize, not just the “we” reading this entry.
This is a concept that, when put into practice, is recognized as “different” and attracts people. And because that is true, it’s important to focus on its truth: Just because a person’s boundaries allow for more freedom, that’s no reason for those in Christ to cross those boundaries. We, as a people, a holy royal priesthood and chosen heirs of heaven, have the opportunity and responsibility to treat others, both in Christ and outside of Him, with the beautiful boundaries the Lord Himself has drawn... and when we do, people will begin to see that they are valued and hopefully start to seek the source of that.
The Beauty of Biblical Boundaries
Before I continue, and now that we’ve gone a few paragraphs in, let’s define “boundary lines.” Psalm 16:6 says: "The boundary lines have fallen for me in pleasant places; indeed, my heritage is beautiful to me." In light of this scripture, the first place I look for boundary lines is the scripture itself. Isn’t it beautiful that God’s word draws the framework of life for us while leaving us room to recognize other social situations and assert our sacred ground as we stand in the authority of our inheritance as children of heaven?
Our time, our money, our decisions about the future, our choices about relationships, our decisions about our bodies... all of these are gifts the Lord gives us and requires us to honor and preserve in truth and love, and He does not leave us alone with them. The abundance of His Holy Spirit is always available to help us make these decisions that first honor Him, manage the gifts He has given us, and honor ourselves and affirm our worth in beautiful ways.
Finding Rest in Scripture
Something that our lovely Shelley Giglio recently said on Jamie Ivey’s "The Happy Hour Podcast" (my favorite next to Craig Groeschel’s leadership podcast) resonates with me as a self-proclaimed podcast JUNKIE. She said: "When our thoughts settle, they should lean on scripture and thus on the Lord."
Gah... how golden! That’s probably in scripture somewhere... I think. It’s a beautiful thing to know that your Creator’s heart is for you, that you can thrive, that He delights in showing mercy to His people. That’s His heart. He draws us near and holds us tight as He sends us into the world to unite it for His glory. It’s truth, and it’s love.
The Power of Forgiveness
If you take away anything from this article, I want it to be this: People make mistakes, sometimes huge ones, and there is no excuse for that, and repentance is required, even from those who wear the name tag "Christian." If your people haven’t shown your boundaries the love and support they deserve, don’t seek your boundaries in this world. Get to know Jesus and His perfect love.
It’s a love that empowers and evokes worth, that speaks when it knows what is right and what is wrong, that acts on biblical truths and values... not on social prejudices that send you into a whirlwind of opinion. It’s a love that loves despite mistakes and through difficulties, and forgives when asked... every single time.