I'm Not Doing It All (& Why You Shouldn't Either)

The Illusion of Busyness

Professor Bruce Hindmarsh once said, "Busyness is moral laziness because it often serves as an excuse to be inattentive to people." This statement made me reflect. How can busyness be seen as laziness? Hindmarsh challenges us to have the courage to devote ourselves to what is truly important, rather than being guided by the busyness of everyday life. In a world that often preaches the opposite, this perspective is both refreshing and challenging. It is an invitation to pause and reflect on what really matters.

Even Jesus did not always meet every expectation. In Shauna Niequist's book "Present over Perfect," it describes how liberating it can be to let go of the pressure to please everyone. God does not expect us to please everyone. Instead, we should focus on what He has intended for us. This realization can help us make conscious decisions and use our time wisely. It is a call to reorder our priorities and have the courage to say "no" when necessary.

Setting Priorities

If your life feels like it’s spiraling out of control, it may be time to seriously consider what you will not do. If we do not actively decide what is important to us, others will decide for us. That can be frightening, right? That our lives are dictated by the expectations of others? By clearly defining our priorities, we can prevent our daily lives from being dominated by the demands of others. This clarity not only brings peace but also a new kind of freedom.

When I am asked how I balance family, work, and book projects, I quickly respond that there are many things I consciously choose not to do. I hope this helps others realize that they don’t have to do everything. It is a conscious choice not to do it all, and it takes courage to go against the tide and stand up for what truly matters to you. This decision is a form of self-care and allows us to focus our energy on what really counts.

What I Don’t Do – and Why

Here is a list of things I consciously choose not to do. This list is personal and reflects my priorities. You may find some points that resonate with you or inspire you to create your own list. The idea is that by letting go of things that aren’t truly important, you create space for what truly matters to you.

• I don’t constantly question my decisions: Once made, I don’t look back. Of course, I pray that God gives me an uneasy feeling if I’ve made a wrong decision. As a wedding planner, I advised my brides to stop looking for dresses after making their choice to avoid unnecessary comparisons. This mindset helps me live in the moment and not dwell on the past. It’s liberating not to get lost in "what if" thoughts.
• We don’t attend every birthday party: Saturdays are precious for our family, so we consciously protect this time. This also means less stress when it comes to finding gifts. If you love parties, keep going! For us, it means more time for family activities, which is very important to us. This decision shows that it’s okay to set boundaries to protect family life.
• I don’t always dress my kids perfectly: Simple clothing makes morning dressing easier. Vana just needs a diaper and a onesie, and we’re ready. This simplicity not only saves time but also reduces the stress often associated with trying to do everything perfectly. It reminds me that children should primarily be happy and healthy, not perfectly styled.
• I don’t wash my hair constantly: Once a week is enough. Thanks to a good shampoo, I can extend the time between washes. This habit gives me more time for other important things and shows that not everything has to be perfect to be good. It’s a small step that grants me a lot of freedom and shows me that self-care doesn’t have to be complicated.
• I don’t spend hours at the gym: Short, effective workouts give me energy for the day. This routine fits my lifestyle and shows that even small steps can lead to a healthy life. It’s a reminder that it’s not about the length but the quality of the time we invest.
• I don’t keep our house spotless: It’s tidy but not perfectly clean. This decision gives me more time to focus on what truly matters and shows that a perfect home isn’t necessary for happiness. It’s an invitation to embrace imperfection and let go of the pressure to make everything flawless.
• I don’t fold Vana’s clothes neatly: Simple folding is perfectly sufficient. This small decision saves time and shows that perfection isn’t always necessary. It’s a reminder that life doesn’t have to be perfect to be beautiful.
• I don’t get my nails professionally done: Instead, I enjoy a relaxing bath. This decision shows that it’s important to take care of oneself, but in a way that suits you. It’s an invitation to recognize your own needs and give yourself the love and attention you need.
• I don’t dye my hair: The time investment isn’t worth it to me right now. This decision shows that it’s okay to go against societal expectations and do what’s best for you. It’s a reminder that true beauty comes from within and that it’s important to remain authentic.
• I don’t do DIY projects: It’s not my thing, and that’s okay. This decision shows that it’s important to focus on what brings you joy and not do what others expect of you. It’s an invitation to pursue your own interests and not be guided by external opinions.
• I don’t volunteer much: Our contributions are currently mainly financial, with some church commitments. This decision shows that there are many ways to contribute and that it’s important to find the path that suits you. It’s a reminder that every type of contribution is valuable and that it’s important to do what matters to you.
• We don’t travel much: A beach vacation once a year is enough for us right now. This decision shows that it’s important to recognize your own needs and not be guided by societal expectations. It’s an invitation to find joy in the little things and appreciate the beauty of everyday life.
• I rarely shop in stores: Online shopping saves me a lot of time. This decision shows that it’s important to find ways to make life easier. It’s an invitation to recognize your own priorities and focus on what truly matters to you.
• I rarely read gossip magazines or news sites: They don’t really relax me. This decision shows that it’s important to recognize your own needs and focus on what truly benefits you. It’s an invitation to nurture your mental health and focus on what truly brings you joy.
• I don’t comment on controversial posts: It takes too much time and energy. This decision shows that it’s important to focus on what really matters and not get lost in unnecessary discussions. It’s an invitation to protect your own energy and focus on what’s truly important.

Find Your Own Balance

What things can you eliminate from your life to make room for what truly counts? Let’s strive together to experience simple moments with Jesus and find the freedom that lies in focusing on what’s essential. By consciously deciding what we won’t do, we create space for what truly matters to us. This freedom allows us to lead a fulfilling life that aligns with our values and priorities. It’s an invitation to find your own balance and enjoy life to the fullest.

Sources

• thegospelcoalition.org
• shaunaniequist.com
• livingproof.com